"The craft of questions, the craft of stories, the craft of the hands—all these are the making of something, and that something is soul. Anytime we feed soul, it guarantees increase." ~ Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes

Having been forced to dance to the tune of someone else's drumbeat (actually someones else's drumbeats in two different locations), I am now in a time of reclaiming myself, my time, my freedom to sleep all night, to concentrate, to meditate, to feel safe and comfortable within the walls of my own home.

No more noisy fruit loops, dear Universe. Thank you.

This morning I pulled out the SoulCollage box of tricks and decided to make a card. I quickly found an image with lots of red shoes that I've been saving and thought about making a card about the story of The red Shoes, and it's meaning to me. As is the way with SoulCollage - and creativity - it didn't turn out the way I expected it to. It doesn't even carry the original image of red shoes I started with.

It doesn't matter because flicking through images and sorting and cutting and playing and sensing fed my soul. It raised ideas and thoughts about dancing to my own tune (something I know all the theory about but never quite seem to get down pat).

It made me want to write a blog and step out of the box I managed to put myself in (which incidentally resulted in the drying up of any blogging at all) after I was given the blog award in the Nature/Green category. I am not sure why I found myself internalising someone else's categorisation of this blog, but it doesn't matter because, as the card suggests, I've taken of those red shoes too and I'm walking barefoot in my blog - as well as in my house.

And, as the quote says, "anytime we feed the soul, it guarantees increase"... Amongst the images I found a random image of a random object that sparked a random idea that is quietly simmering.

The  creativity flows...

SoulCollage® is the process, developed by Seena B. Frost, of creating a deck of collaged cards from found images—cards that are arranged in suits for the primary purpose of self-exploration and self-acceptance. SoulCollage® cards are made from original purchased art (e.g., art published in magazines, calendars, books, cards, etc.) and personal materials (e.g., photos). SoulCollage cards are not to be sold, traded, or bartered and are to be reproduced only for the personal use of the maker of the card.

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Red Shoes Barefoot originally appeared on Taexalia on July 20, 2010.

I am the damp dank brown undergrowth

I am the palette of spent life

I am the tangle of the dead of winter

I am the lifeless leaves underfoot

I am the fragrant stench of decay

I am the life that begins in death

I am the humus of ending and beginning

I am the forest left to the wheel

I am the labyrinth ever turning

SoulCollage® is the process, developed by Seena B. Frost, of creating a deck of collaged cards from found images—cards that are arranged in suits for the primary purpose of self-exploration and self-acceptance. SoulCollage® cards are made from original purchased art (e.g., art published in magazines, calendars, books, cards, etc.) and personal materials (e.g., photos). SoulCollage cards are not to be sold, traded, or bartered and are to be reproduced only for the personal use of the maker of the card.

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Forest Floor originally appeared on Taexalia on February 5, 2010.

The Reaper SoulCollage Card

Returning from London, the first thing that I noticed was the hill behind our house had lost some of its vibrant colours. I had meant to take some photographs of the rich blankets of oranges, reds, yellows and browns but time moved on and now the colours are muted as the leaves drift on the earth. Things are ending and so beginning again, old leaves drop to the earth and make the earth richer and the nutrients will feed the trees and new plants next year. Samhain, Hallowe'en, is almost upon us and I am thinking about the things I wish to shed to make room for the things I wish to compost and to grow...

Nine things I let go of...

• Anxiety and depression created by outside intrusions
• Outside intrusions - I let you go please don't try to come back
• The idea that our house will ever look like a magazine shoot
• Other people's boxes and baggage around who I am and who I should be
• The idea that I am not good enough
• Reactivity
• Anything that holds me back even if I cannot name it
• Resistance to all of the above
• Being pissed off that we haven't gotten near the end of the house and garden To Do list

Nine things I am claiming, manifesting...

• Daily writing practise
• A new lifestyle with our new companion
• Daily walking adventures
• Healthy choices around what feeds me - people and places as well as food and environment
• Pro-activity
• The next size down trousers - being able to sit in them as well as stand
• The freedom to express myself
• My rights
• A greenhouse

Opening To New Worlds SoulCollage Card

SoulCollage® is the process, developed by Seena B. Frost, of creating a deck of collaged cards from found images—cards that are arranged in suits for the primary purpose of self-exploration and self-acceptance. SoulCollage® cards are made from original purchased art (e.g., art published in magazines, calendars, books, cards, etc.) and personal materials (e.g., photos). SoulCollage cards are not to be sold, traded, or bartered and are to be reproduced only for the personal use of the maker of the card.

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Making Space To Manifest originally appeared on Taexalia on October 30, 2009.

I am ready to...

... sit within the rainbow

... show myself

... be introspective in the limelight

... hold the boundary between myself and undesired clamour

... shine

... shield myself when I need to

... reach towards the hidden layers

... provoke a reaction

~*~

Interesting exercise - grab a prompt from Inspire Me Thursday and then pull a random SoulCollage card and see what comes up

SoulCollage® is the process, developed by Seena B. Frost, of creating a deck of collaged cards from found images—cards that are arranged in suits for the primary purpose of self-exploration and self-acceptance. SoulCollage® cards are made from original purchased art (e.g., art published in magazines, calendars, books, cards, etc.) and personal materials (e.g., photos). SoulCollage cards are not to be sold, traded, or bartered and are to be reproduced only for the personal use of the maker of the card.

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I Am Ready To… originally appeared on Taexalia on October 29, 2009.

I am the one who is invisible

I am the one who is torn

I am the one who is disconnected

I am the one who is in anguish

I am the one who sings silence

I am the one who is cut deep

SoulCollage® is the process, developed by Seena B. Frost, of creating a deck of collaged cards from found images—cards that are arranged in suits for the primary purpose of self-exploration and self-acceptance. SoulCollage® cards are made from original purchased art (e.g., art published in magazines, calendars, books, cards, etc.) and personal materials (e.g., photos). SoulCollage cards are not to be sold, traded, or bartered and are to be reproduced only for the personal use of the maker of the card.

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Intimidated Self ~ SoulCollage originally appeared on Taexalia on October 7, 2009.

I pull the card from the box and smile. Is it coincidence or connection that draws my fingertips to it? It is the first time I smile this morning - this morning is about managing pain... In SoulCollage we use the "I am the One who..." exercise to speak from the card...

I am the One who bleeds

I am the One who sees women mask their reality

I am the One who seeks seclusion

I am the One who dances the Cycle

I am the One who acknowledges the flow

I am the One who seeks the message of the red moon

I am the One who sees the dragons

I am the One who honours my moon-time

I am the One who feels the creative fire burning

I am the One who is not cursed

I am the One who bleeds red not blue

I am the One who is not at the mercy of corporate claws

I am the One who says Fuck You to stereotyping a cycle that is as old as the species

I am the One who walks the red labyrinth

~*~

SoulCollage® is the process, developed by Seena B. Frost, of creating a deck of collaged cards from found images—cards that are arranged in suits for the primary purpose of self-exploration and self-acceptance. SoulCollage® cards are made from original purchased art (e.g., art published in magazines, calendars, books, cards, etc.) and personal materials (e.g., photos). SoulCollage cards are not to be sold, traded, or bartered and are to be reproduced only for the personal use of the maker of the card.

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Red Womban originally appeared on Taexalia on August 28, 2009.

I have not been giving my blog much attention recently and so I decided to resort to pulling a random SoulCollage card from my deck and free-writing from it (a handy trick that has worked in the past for this blogger).

When I pulled the card out I had a "oh no not that one - put it back quick!" reaction. As uncomfortable as it usually is, I find it is the signs, symbols and themes that I resist the most that lead to the best insights. I'm not really surprised to see the card because the theme of the card has been rolling around in my mind, and life, for the last wee while. It's not a stranger to this blog either as I've written about it in the past when talking about boundaries and emotional predators.

I've been thinking about my recent need for seclusion, my wish to somehow protect myself from what I call Other People's Stuff. I've been finding it challenging to let the "you are..." and the "you should..." and the generally judgemental comments go, and instead I've been allowing my rampant mind to turn them into much bigger events than they really are - a classic form of creative self-sabotage.

My tendency has been to take some space and sit with myself for a while, not disconnect but detach a little, if that makes sense. Do my own thing. Find my own rhythms again - moving house seemed to stretch into such a long and drawn out process and it seemed to take forever to deal with the additional chaos of sound-proofing the property.

I feel like I've lost some time somewhere between trying to tame the chaos inside and losing myself in my ever-challenging garden, which I suspect may never be tame. I feel like I've been in Limbo and Limbo has no boundaries.

Aha.

So that is where this is going.

It's not so much about being vigilant about how Other People's Stuff is encroaching my space, it's about how my boundaries have become liquid and a wee bit too fluid and if I'm floating around in Limbo then it's no wonder I'm finding myself bobbing in one direction and then another...

I'm drawn to the image in the background, the trellis that today speaks to me of patterns and consistency - with a little bit of imperfection and broken-ness too. As if the message is that it is time to focus on myself and my rhythms now that our home is feeling like a good living space... time to rise to the challenges of my creativity now that I have no excuses *wink*

I'm also drawn to the image of the tower which reminds me of the house in the card I made last June. It's inspiring to look back at that card knowing that I was at the very beginning of the process of getting the flat ready to sell, to know that when I made it I had no idea where we would end up, or when. To see the card speaking of Spring and that our move eventually happened the following Spring and to smile at the power of manifesting even when one is in a dark pit of anxiety and depression.

The rambling meander brings the message that setting boundaries and goals brings the changes one wants to see, sort of like a pat-on-the-back-I've-done-it - now what's next?

SoulCollage® is the process, developed by Seena B. Frost, of creating a deck of collaged cards from found images—cards that are arranged in suits for the primary purpose of self-exploration and self-acceptance. SoulCollage® cards are made from original purchased art (e.g., art published in magazines, calendars, books, cards, etc.) and personal materials (e.g., photos). SoulCollage cards are not to be sold, traded, or bartered and are to be reproduced only for the personal use of the maker of the card.

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Quit Floating originally appeared on Taexalia on August 27, 2009.

Despite the chaos of moving house, the boxes that are everywhere and the circular journey of things as they are moved from one place to another as we try to set up house.... I managed to sneak an hour of creative play and indulge in the luxury of being able to spread out on my new table and make a mess...

Two new SoulCollage cards created themselves and I love them both, not least as they are the first cards I have created in Fife

I love the energy of this card, the potential of spring and growth... it is especially meaningful to me as I am now in charge of a bigger-than-I-thought garden.

I'm always interested in the cards that are birthed during menstruation.

We are taught not to speak about our most natural cycles, to hide them and give them silly names. We see corporate (and poisonous!) (and polluting!) products advertised and we see our dark red blood altered to a more palatable blue clear liquid. No wonder we have "syndromes" and problems when our natural rhythms are cursed.

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SoulCollage Snippet originally appeared on Taexalia on April 17, 2009.

Pulling a random card from my deck I am faced with the Moon Bull. This card came together a long time after I had a potent dream guest starring a white bull. This white bull has returned to my dreams a number of times and seems to have taken up residence in my personal pantheon.

I am the one who stands at the boundaries
I am the one who holds the space
I am the one who protects what is delicate
I am the one who stands as a barrier
I am the one who is formidable

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The Moon Bull Speaks originally appeared on Taexalia on December 16, 2008.

SoulCollage® is the process, developed by Seena B. Frost, of creating a deck of collaged cards from found images—cards that are arranged in suits for the primary purpose of self-exploration and self-acceptance. SoulCollage® cards are made from original purchased art (e.g., art published in magazines, calendars, books, cards, etc.) and personal materials (e.g., photos). SoulCollage cards are not to be sold, traded, or bartered and are to be reproduced only for the personal use of the maker of the card.

I began making SoulCollage cards in September 2006 after being introduced to the process by a friend. I have found the SoulCollage process a valuable tool in discovering, acknowledging and owning all the parts of myself. In September 2008 I completed SoulCollage Facilitator Training with Seena B Frost at The Land of the Medicine Buddha in California. Aside from being honoured with the opportunity to facilitate SoulCollage workshops with others, I gained a deeper personal understanding of the process, the values and the ethics of SoulCollage.

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My SoulCollage Cards originally appeared on Taexalia on December 13, 2008.