Taexalia

wild.life

But I am Living In The Moment – It is the moment that is the problem

"Did you ever think, when you held or looked at a beautiful pearl,
that its origin was irritation? An oyster, in response to the
irritating presence of sand within its shell, creates a thing of
beauty." ~ Thomas F Crum

I thought I had found the pearl birthed from the last piece of grit but it seems that I have just floated on the ebb to a different shore and inherited a new piece of grit. A second strike of lightning.

I want to know what the thing of beauty is that this piece of grit is going to create. I don't want to wait, to fight, to stand up for my rights. I don't want to endure, to learn to relax and cope. I don't want to be told to shut up and do some gardening. The piece of grit has really really sharp edges and is irritating me multiple times a day. It is constant. It is in my shell, in my body mind and emotions and it isn't going to go away.

It interrupts my work flow. It interrupts my sleep. It interrupts my creative flow. It interrupts my dreams. It interrupts the chapter of the book I am reading.

It breaks into my world whether I am doing something mundane like washing the dishes or something constructive like trying to figure out code on my website or something deeper like just trying to meditate.

Funnily enough I feel emotions when this piece of grit makes its presence known, when the people who are meant to clean the grit up fail spectacularly - not all of these emotions are sunshine and daisies. In fact none of them are.

That is all. Anger