Taexalia

wild.life

A Random Collection of Thoughts

Thought One

Having experienced what it is like to have my blog stalked by someone who does not have my best interests at heart, I find myself quite often deciding that silence is the best option.

The thing about blogging that I had always enjoyed was the freedom I had given myself to be whatever I was in the moment, to be open and honest about how I experienced life and to share my perspective of the world with anyone who wanted to read.

The past year has challenged me on this because the stalker experience left me feeling threatened, invaded, vulnerable and disturbed. I found it disturbing that someone would actually visit my blog every hour for twelve hours throughout the day to see whether I had written anything or not - and let's face it I have never been a consistent or daily blogger - I found it especially disturbing when that person was also in the business of bad-mouthing me around the (fickle) neighbourhood.

Instead of a free-form creative experiment, my blog became a place where a chilling presence was lurking in the shadows and obsessively staring over my cyber shoulder.

But I also learned a shit-load about webstats and how the Internet works - transferable shit that has done me and my various websites a wee bit of good.

Thought Two

Always look for the silver lining in the dark and stormy cloud, and vice versa.

Thought Three

In a recession, if you work for a company that would have gone bust without an injection of public money - be thankful that you still have a job and do not expect a publicly funded bonus on top of your salary... be thankful that you still have a salary.

Thought Four

I would like to think that supporters of the Green Party have, by definition, signed their name to a manifesto that believes a better world is possible.

I do not see how assaulting people, hating people, humiliating people and basically acting like a teenage thug brings society forward into a more balanced place - nor do I see how it supports the environment.

What was Leila Deen doing with a single-use throwaway coffee cup, that most likely had a plastic inner coating, if she really believes in protecting the environment?

Don't get me wrong - I am human. The idea of throwing rancid slime (soft-ish dog poop even) over any number of rhetoric spouting politicians (and indeed golfing property tycoons) regularly sustains me whilst absorbing the news - but I think it's better to keep the fantasy in my thoughts and try to find a more constructive way to utilise the energy of anger.

Thought Five

A woman lies in a hospital bed ingesting high levels of morphine as the cancer in her body slowly claims her. Somewhere a very rich man is earning money keeping her name in the public eye - he is, of course, absolved of judgement because he is only getting a cut of the money being earned for her children*.

If the stories weren't being devoured by so many members of the public - would they be printed?

No.

This is a media frenzy that I have conflicting thoughts about... sometimes I find it disturbing and sometimes I can totally understand why This Woman In Particular decided to milk the public and press to try and leave her children with something for their future.

Should I ever have the misfortune to find myself dying of cancer the furthest thing from my mind will be adhering to the ever shifting public perception of dignity.

I am not a person who reads much celebrity gossip and I have tried to remain immune from this frenzy. Mostly.

This morning the BBC, the supposed doyenne of quality and objective journalism and reportage**, hit me with the headline that this woman had been "confronted by intruder with a hammer".

My mind's eye created a scenario where a deranged woman invaded a private hospital room wielding a hammer intending violence towards a dying woman.

The reality, strange as it may be, is that a woman entered a patient's hospital room without permission. She may have been saying a prayer for the dying woman when the patient awoke. The patient was, understandably, shaken. The patient called for nursing staff who apprehended the unwelcome visitor. The unwelcome visitor was much later, in a completely different building, found to have a hammer in her handbag.

Don't get me wrong - I think carrying a hammer in a handbag is weird. Actually I am not even sure I own anything you could actually define as a handbag. But the manipulation of this strange series of events by the media to create the image of a hammer wielding violent maniac is quite chilling - and not entirely the responsibility of the dying woman, or, perhaps, her publicist.

I have yet to discover exactly what type of hammer it was - but I am sure it was not an actual sledge hammer.

Thought Six

re: Thought Two ~ more women are having smear tests than ever.

Thought Seven

None of this is really an update on what is going on with me, but here are some well chosen clichés: