Taexalia

wild.life

Baby Steps Are Little Leaps

I do not feel depressed today.

This is the second time I have been able to write that this week and mean it. I understand that this may only be temporary reprieve since my External Stressor has been absent. I understand that all of the little changes I have been making may not entirely add up to beating depression by themselves if the External Stressor is missing from the experiment. But what it does show is that once I can eliminate the External Stressor completely I have no excuses.

The changes I have been making are small and I am trying to be mindful not to overwhelm myself with a rigourous regime, rather just switching things around and making swaps to try and improve the way I feel, eat, look and perform.

Actually that is not true - one of the changes feels quite massive. I have been building exercise into my day by using my elliptical. For some bizarre reason, in December, I set myself the goal of being able to ellipticate for 30 minutes... and soon enough I broke it. Great. Wonderful. Now I have no excuse for getting on there and staying put til the meter falls to zero. So far I seem to I ellipticate for miles (actually it's kilometers - see #93) but stay in the same place watching the numbers of calories burned rise. I figure they must save themselves up and then one day all flee my body in a mass exodus, either that or my scales are broken.

To be fair, I have lost some weight since the beginning of the year. You see if you decide to lose 95lbs it is not a good idea to deice to do this just before the Yule/Christmas/Hogmanay cycle. You will merely lose weight and then put it back on again as you indulge in all the feasting. As I did. C'mon - I am intending to feel good about all of this so I refuse to sit and nibble on a lettuce when there is Trifle.

I could not bear to change the weight tracking doo da >>> (or indeed refund my two trusty sponsors!)... but I am now back at the 230lb mark as of this morning. A great start - losing weight twice!

I have swapped coffee for actual breakfast - a lovely bowl of porridge. I am now rid of the caffeine cold turkey headache and feeling quite good actually. I have also committed to no wine but I haven't decided what I can replace it with (I am discovering you have to trick your mind into thinking it is getting something) - obviously chocolate is out and celery just isn't as appealing as a bloomimg glass of Merlot...

Another thing I have been doing is taking a Vitamin D supplement every day. I read that taking Vitamin D3 can counteract things like depression and SAD. A non scientific conclusion is that I am feeling that my mind is waking up - as reported by the blogger that I now can't find (oops).

For instance, I have had something to put in my creativity log for every day this week - sometimes more than one thing... And this morning I awoke from some vivid dreaming that I am going to call Story Dreaming. The images and interactions and conversations are just ripe for a novel and I have scribbled five pages longhand just getting the jist of the dream images down. I am logging the words over there >>> in a fabby new widget that Stagwoman discovered.

I do not feel depressed today - let's hope the External Stressor remains absent.

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Posted on January 8, 2009 in Creativity, Health, Ponderings.

3 Responses to “Baby Steps Are Little Leaps”

  1. jo says:
    January 8, 2009 at 4:24 pm

    Good for you! I love that baby steps are little leaps! Just proves it’s how you look at things that count.

  2. theknickermafia says:
    January 8, 2009 at 4:46 pm

    Keep positive Taexalia xx

  3. Taexalia says:
    January 8, 2009 at 5:43 pm

    Cheers you two :) I’ll be down a porn porn size in no time ;)

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