Taexalia

wild.life

Single White Female?

During some recent browsing and surfing, I happened across a couple of blogs discussing the concept of having a "blog stalker". Apparently a blog stalker is a person who reads without commenting, usually a person unknown to the blogger. The blogger sees the visitor in their traffic stats and feels uneasy. "Who is that person from *insert location that shows in stats* who logs onto my blog 10 times a day, reads it more than I do and never says "hello"??"

I think it's a bit melodramatic to label a blog visitor a stalker just because the blogger doesn't know who they are. If I wanted privacy I could blog in a social networking site and set my profile to private, only having people I know on my contacts list. I choose to publish a public blog and so I'm going to get readers - and reader is the word I use to define the people who turn up in my traffic stats whether they are regulars, commenters or random one topic visitors.

I suppose it's possible someone might develop an obsession with reading a person's blog, and it is the risk one takes putting oneself "out there", but I'm not one for choosing to live in fear of another's potential bad behaviour. I tend to cross bridges when I come to them, rather than get my journey knotted up by imagining bridges that may never materialise. I thank my stars I'll never have to deal with the likes of John Cusack and Samantha Morton's alleged stalkers.

It is a wee bit fascinating to contemplate why a person moves into that kind of attachment towards another and, in trying to get control of someone else, loses total control of themselves. They seem to get lost in the fantasy world and forget to step out - perhaps they ran out of string or forgot to leave a trail of breadcrumbs, and their fantasy develops into a darker attachment and in the worst cases begins to impact the life of someone else.

I'm all for fantasy. I think fantasy is just a natural part of the human brain and it's part of the creative process. I think it's perfectly acceptable to brighten a dour day with a mind-meandering into something outrageous or unlikely. I confess to an intrepid past including being the middle ingredient of a Sixx and Lee sandwich, a whirlwind tour of the seven seas as Captain Jack's better half and the more than occasional adventure in the arms of the sexiest (famous) man alive, Ray Winstone. I think it's healthy. I think it's creative. It's definitely fun.

So readers unless you have some sort of ill intent towards me, or an inability to detach from the world of fantasy, I will not worry that you read and don't comment and I won't use the word stalker to define you... and Ray darling... once you have read this post would you mind whisking me off for a tryst? Ta :)

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Posted on April 4, 2008 in Uncategorized.

7 Responses to “Single White Female?”

  1. Anonymous says:
    April 4, 2008 at 5:45 pm

    Hey you! I’m famous!!!! I’ve been on telly, radio and in print. So there. Nyeah. :o p
    @XXXXXXXX

  2. Taexalia says:
    April 4, 2008 at 10:37 pm

    Ahem. My readers won’t believe you have been on telly until they have seen evidence. Feel free to upload any telly footage to YouTube and I’ll host it on this blog.

    ;-p

  3. Misssy M says:
    April 4, 2008 at 11:00 pm

    Not everybody has something to say…aren’t blogs there for reading, after all?

    I find this label of “blog stalker ” bizarre. The actual word is “lurker” and occasionally they can be coaxed out with cheese, I find!

    (I love the idea that I have lurkers reading and never commenting…for one it makes me feel that more people are reading than my band of known regulars)

  4. Taexalia says:
    April 5, 2008 at 1:11 pm

    Me too Missy – it was pretty odd to see a blogger basically telling some readers to go away just because she doesn’t know them.

    I don’t comment on every blog I read either.

    I’m not sure about sharing cheese though.

  5. GreenishLady says:
    April 5, 2008 at 1:39 pm

    I suppose lurkers pop in once, maybe twice a day. Eighteen? Have I ever visited any one blog that many times in a day? – Maybe if I was following the comments in a particularly interesting post somewhere, I’d go back a couple of times. But, as you say, when we choose to make our blogs public, that’s welcoming people to read whether they want to comment or not, make themselves known or not, and surely, it’s allowing that they can come read as often as they want. I imagine I’d be flattered to think anyone found my blog THAT interesting!

  6. Mousie/Paisible says:
    April 6, 2008 at 10:18 am

    so you have unknown admirers wishing they would dare give their name ?
    funny story…I’m coming back after weeks of no computer !!!
    love from Peaceful

  7. Taexalia says:
    April 6, 2008 at 12:16 pm

    Ah sweet Peaceful welcome back :)

    I don’t need to know the identities of my readers, like you I think it’s funny to think we can blog only to our chosen fans.

    Greenishlady – I’m with you – if someone finds my blog so interesting that they need to look at it 10 times a day, then WOW.

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