Taexalia

wild.life

Reflections

Maiden Stone

The Maiden Stone

Where to begin when you reflect on a whole year? At the beginning I suppose... I started the year with a miscarriage which isn't really the best way to start anything really. Looking back, much of the first half of the year seems shadowed by the aftermath - not just the grief and confusion and emotional side, but the physical rollercoaster my body travelled. I had to learn to be gentle with myself - which doesn't come easy for me - and I began to learn that sometimes slowing the pace gets things done in just the same time.

I started the year self-employed too - I had left a job in August 2005 and for some bizarre reason had taken on a new job in December. The new job lasted all of two weeks and I look back and think it was mostly a lesson from the universe to trust my gut and go it alone - I'm just not made to work for other people and be treated with utter disrespect. And I'm closing this year self-employed, satisfied and confident that I am well on the way to crafting my own life and living my dreams.

I have a natural tendency to analyze with a negative slant - you know... the "I didn't spend enough time MAKING things" "I didn't eat healthily" "I didn't get enough exercise" "I didn't ..." blah blah blah. So OK that's out of the way, I'll turn it around and look at it from the other side...

I actually made quite a lot of things - I made a website, I made a great eBay shop even better, I made HTML templates, I made this blog, I made new friends, I made people laugh, I made a trip to Odense in Denmark, I made it to my annual women's gathering - this time in Michigan, I discovered and made SoulCollage cards, I made an attempt at NaNoWriMo (during the second busiest business month of the year), I made several letters to politicians, I made some wonderful rituals and dreamed some wonderful dreams.....

I cried when the whale got stranded in the Thames - a voice from the deep telling us something is wrong. I cried when some people tried to interview me about adopting a dolphin whilst I was hand picking rubbish during a beach clean up - and afterwards I felt frustrated with myself because my inability to speak in front of that monster camera was perhaps a lost opportunity to be a voice for creatures who cannot speak. I cried when I read or watched the news on too many occasions and I cried when one of the family cats, Tizzy, crossed the Rainbow Bridge after 17 years lighting our lives with her gentle presence, her ferocious defense of her territory and her sweet tinkly bells.

I laughed a lot too - don't be mistaken. If you lived with my honeybunny you would be challenged not to laugh at least once a day. Despite what seems to be a tendency towards the shadows - I'm a cheerful person most of the time. I even laughed whilst a man drove ink into my flesh - and if there's one New Year's Resolution for 2007 it is to get a new tattoo and not leave four years between inkings again!

So I'm closing this year with a sense that I have never been as happy and content as I am in this moment and I have some ideas of the directions I want to take in 2007 and the places I want to visit inside and out.

Wishing you a Happy Hogmany - a guid new year tae yin an a :)

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Posted on December 31, 2006 in Creativity, Stones and Circles, Thoughtful.

2 Responses to “Reflections”

  1. tammy vitale says:
    December 31, 2006 at 1:38 pm

    Lovely- and a great guide for my on ruminations if I ever get myself to sit still and think about it for a minute or two (avoiding, avoiding – hmmmm, what does that mean?). I know I will be grateful for the many new voices, like yours, that now grace my life with honesty, and humor and wisdom. Here’s to 2007

  2. Mousie says:
    December 31, 2006 at 10:01 pm

    BLOAVEZ MAD my friend…that post you wrote is great, you’re so young and so mature, it’s extraordinary…tahnk you for sharing
    BLOAVEZ MAD
    Mousie

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